If You Love Something
The Original Version
If you love something, set it free…
If it comes back, it’s yours; if it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.
The Pessimist’s Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, she’s yours; if she doesn’t, well, as expected, she never was.
The Optimist’s Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
Don’t worry, she’ll come back.
The Suspicious Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, ask her why.
The Impatient Person’s Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she doesn’t come back within some time limit, forget her.
The Patient Person’s Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she doesn’t come back, continue to wait ’til she comes back.
The Playful Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
*If she comes back, and if you still love her, set her free again.
(repeat *)
The Lawyer’s Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act states that…
The Statistician’s Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high. If she doesn’t, your relationship was improbable anyway.
The Possessive Version
If you love somebody, don’t ever set her free.
The MBA Version
If you love somebody, set her free… instantaneously… and look for others simultaneously.
The Psychologist’s Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant.
If she doesn’t come back, her IQ is supreme.
If she doesn’t go, she must be crazy…
The Finance Expert’s Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, it’s time to look for fresh loans.
If she doesn’t, write her off as an asset gone bad.
The Marketing Version
If you love somebody, set her free…
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty. If she doesn’t, reposition the brand in new markets.
